Many of topics want out of my brain: this year’s gardening, teaching tales, responses to novels, and many more. Getting my first leg and bikini wax (at grandmother age), however, is my latest adventure. Think about the position a woman assumes in order to let the aesthetician rip out the pubic hair. In Yoga, they call it the Goddess Pose. To me, the posture seems awfully submissive, especially when I am trying to be less like a marshmallow and more like Kali (Hindu) and Vajrayogini (Buddhist).
Considered violently compassionate, they kill the ego in order to lead us to enlightenment, and these two figures seem to be the same. The ego is the part of us that wants to be separate from everyone else, that part of us that does not want to be part of the Tao, the Universal Mind, God, etc. The ego wants to be one shining drop of water instead of the whole ocean; it is the part of us that wants to be good, bad, the best, the worst–separate. As far as the goddesses go, additional research may show whether anything more than the names change between the two traditions. While you are waiting or searching for that information, however, you might enjoy these pictures. Look how happily Vajrayogini dances with her necklace of skulls.
See how Kali sticks her tongue out at anyone who tries to understand her. Look carefully:
Hindu image of the happy ego killer.
On the western side, the Greek Goddess Athena represents wisdom as well as war. If you are familiar with The Iliad, you know that Athena supported her favorites in the Trojan War. All of the Greek gods and goddesses took sides, but Athena was quite fierce on the proud Achilles’ behalf. (stay tuned for picture). The Israelites were wandering around in the desert around the time of the Trojan war (or around the time Homer’s poem was being performed), and some of the Jewish women were bold. Consider Judith and her murder of Holofernes. She saved her people by first drugging him, then driving a tent peg through his head and cutting herself a trophy. ( This story is in the book of Judith, which is in the Apocrypha and described as an addition to the book of Esther. )
By the time folks became Christians, however, the women excelled at suffering. Of course, that may be inaccurate or unfair or both. Still, the photo below is Donatello’s sculpture of Mary Magdalene in the desert. She is certainly not a physical warrior.
Saint Joan of Arc subverts the weak sister paradigm, but look what happened to her.
This year I realized that my personal “goddesses” represent the ego—two sides of which are the Should Bird that sits on one shoulder and tells us what to do and the Shit Bird that sits on the other shoulder and screams, “Not Good Enough! Not Good Enough!” You know them, right?
Before I knew the bitches were parts of my own ego, I wrote stories about two of them. Witchy Poo is my internal editor. She yells at me for being self indulgent. Mrs. Blutmore, a giant rabbit with sharp teeth, is mad because I ignored my imagination for many years and still don’t make time to write stories. Baba Yaga, a deadly witch in the Russian tradition is a fairy tale favorite. Very wise and powerful, she kills anyone who is dishonest or stupid.
When I started this post in May, all of this goddess and ego business frustrated me, so I went to my place of peace: a neglected flower border. Digging in the dirt beats thinking any day. Here is the first garden picture of 2014:
Now it is July and I am still playing around with this very first post that now may need its own page and a bibliography. What do you think about goddesses and ego? How much would you rather create something with your hands?
Failing gloriously is the best way. It teaches you what not to do ever again. Like bikini waxing. As far as goddesses and ego – I’m only a goddess when I’m totally in my ego. And I am glad there are people like you who can grow beautiful plants & create pretty things with your hands, because I am not one of them. I have recently quit trying anything else and settled on writing. People keep telling me to build an audience with a blog, but I don’t know how they work either.
We will just write to each other until more folk join us. I do not know how this works. I didn’t even see your full comment until I checked my e-mail! It has to get easier. I spend an awful lot of time playing around and editing–and–it’s been years since I have had the garden look good. The dirt here is awful. Have you started your blog yet?
Violently compassionate is a very descriptive term. Like they would kill for the ones they love. Could you do it? I could, for certain people. No for others. There’s a country song out now that asks the question “If it came down to it, would I take the bullet?” The answer is yes, but when the fit hits the shan, who knows?
It’s hard to know what I would do–it might be easier to take the bullet than to fire it–but I’m a martyr by nature.